William Hellfire

Derwin

Joey Smack

Derick

Erin Brown

Bible Girl

Lilly Tiger

Play Girl

Chris Perez

Car Kid

Henry Krinkle

Retard

Mikey Ovum

Spam Jock

Ryan Trimmer

Benchpress

Kendall 'Shorty' Ward

Afro-American

Marie Mazur

Song Girl

Mike Ronor

Goth Boy

Liz Bathory

Goth Girl

Michael Lema

No Info Boy

Jacqueline D'angelo

911 Dispatcher

Michelle Chard

911 Girl

Beef Hunkster

Teacher

Michael L. Raso

Young Derwin / The Police Chief

Stephen Harris

The Fathers

Pamela Anne

The Mothers

Larry Wellman

The Principal

Pete Floris

Internet Teacher

Murtal Murtz

School Announcer

Pete Jacelone

The Janitor

Thomas Linden

The Gun Man

Hernandez

The Gun Mans Assistant

Minty Hansen

Cafeteria Lady

John James

Bible Boy

Martina Solej

Screaming Girl

Lora Lane

Newscaster

Nathan Lanman

Cameraman

Carl Pitt

Policeman

Mick Leo

Swat Answering Machine

Michael Lione

Teenage Boy #1

Patrick Henderson

Teenage Boy #2

Michael J Scillia

Surviving Jock #1

Kyle Lee Laferrière

Surviving Jock #2

Justine

Rose Girl

John Link

Scientist

Bob Gonzo

Entrepreneur

John Bacchus

The Preacher

John Paul Fedele

G.U.N. Association Representative